No Excuses

I know I've been slacking off in the blogsphere. But, there's the Olympics, and the lack of anything interesting going on (unless you count snow shoveling and cleaning out the cat box), and, you know, the recession and all. PLUS, Lenore's feeling all pukey and bleah from her weekly poison infusion, so I got nobody to play with... Do I hear violins?

However, now it's March, the Olympics are over, and it's actually daylight when I head home from work. Pretty soon it'll be flood season. Hooboy.


I think I *will* miss watching the Olympics. Not so much for the athleticism and all that, but for the fodder these games have lent to lunchtime conversations. Namely, making fun of the U.S. snowboarding team's matching (adorable!) faux grunge outfits that probably cost a thousand or so each. Apolo's butt. The chucklehead who got thrown out of the Olympic Village for hanging his medal in front of his crotch and inviting girls to kiss it. And the complete lack of fashion sense when it comes to figure skating outfits the WORLD OVER. Seriously! It's all so off-the-main-drag Vegas in the 70s. Awful.

I haven't watched the closing ceremonies yet, but I love the fact that the Canadians poked a little fun at themselves. You didn't see *that* in Beijing. And, as one friend noted, I won't miss watching Lindsay Vonn fall down and cry every time the network broadcasts women's skiing. Sorry, that was mean, but...jeeze. Suck it up, sister. At least your coach didn't scream at you to (incorrectly) change lanes and cost you a gold medal in speed skating. Just sayin'.

Also, I have to say, I'm really embarrassed by all the sulky pouting from the men's hockey team. The U.S. coach was actually quoted as saying, "Sometimes the best team does not win gold." OMG, did he really say that outloud?! Dude, even if you really feel that way, that's prolly not the best sound byte for the hall of fame. Well, maybe the "Idiot Comment" hall of fame.


But let's get back to Apolo Ohno's butt, because I just want to pat it...and then maybe suggest he get that mole on his neck checked. Because I definitely want to see him and that adorable little J.R. Selsky in 2014. Talk about making it look easy -- all the skaters look so calm, and they're not even winded when they're done.

Much as I liked the ski cross and snowboarding, I think we ended up watching figure skating more than anything. Oh the drama. And the off putting juxtaposition of the Canadian skater whose mom died and still managed to skate vs. the American skater who (gasp!) had a book report due!!! The next day!!! And she refused to take an extension!!! What fortitude.


I also have to opine that I'm glad the Russian guy lost, if not because he seems pretty arrogant, but also because it's 2010 and he's still sporting what can only be classified as a mullet.

I think Scott Hamilton is one of the best commentators ever. I enjoy his upbeat analysis, and he knows so much about each skater. And, to his credit, I don't think he ever said "the flamboyant Johnny Weir" as if that was his actual full name. Unlike every other person in the media, who found it completely unfathomable that this kid could be athletic and (dare we say it?) GAY. Hello, it's FIGURE SKATING. I love this commentary on the commentary. You go, Johnny! Stay FIERCE in your heels, honey! Oh, and I think you got robbed.



Lastly (see, you're just a little glad to see that opening to the close, aren't you?), I saw this online, and it reminded me of how all the athletes, even the ones who come from a team of one and we never got to see, make what they do look so easy. Yes, this drives the point home quite well.



Did I say lastly? Almost. I want to know the following:

Can the skaters bring their skates on the plane, or is that considered a blade? Because it would really suck if the airlines lost your ice skates.
Why do the short track skaters have to wear such retro looking bike helmets?
Do the judges secretly knock off points if the skater is ugly? I think I would.
How many snowboards does each person travel with?
Why is bobsledding a sport?
If Shawn White cuts his hair, will he fall down?
How come nobody ever explains the seemingly complex scoring systems in all these winter sports?
How many ties does Bob Costas own?
And is Mary Carillo gay? She sure sets off my gaydar. But in a good way.

In other news, the test kitchen turned out more bread, chicken soup, custard and carrot/apple/orange/ginger/lemon juice. And, Roland, Amy and I went to see "Up in the Air" (the one with George Clooney, not Ed Asner), which was quite good, and then we snuck in to see "The Lightening Thief," which was much less good (sorry Sabine!), but still somewhat entertaining. I was left wondering if Pierce Brosnan really does have hairy upper arms, or if that was makeup. I hope it was makeup. Also, do satyrs really not have any junk? Because the mythology I read told *quite* a different story. Poseidon was played (fleetingly) by Kevin McKidd, whom I enjoyed quite a lot in the short-lived time-travel series, Journeyman. Laura and and I have the same luck w/TV shows -- whatever we like gets cancelled.