Got Balls?

I had these great little cookies at a party and decided they might be easy to convert into something healthy ... maybe even add some of that infamous whey protein powder to ... though I've since sent that powder back from whence it came. After a couple of trials, Paula's Power Balls were born. Thanks to my co worker, Donna, who named them! My other co worker, Craig, just thought it was funny that we were talking about my balls ... but that's another story. Also, thanks to Jesse who was brave enough to try them at lunch even though they're healthy and "look like something you dug out of Hoops' litter box."

Here's the original recipe. It is of course delicious – what's not to like?

No-Bake Eskimo Cookies
1 1/2 sticks butter, softened
3/4 cup sugar
1 Tbs. water
1 tsp. vanilla
3 Tbs. cocoa
2 cups quick-cooking oats
Powdered sugar

Beat softened butter until fluffy. Add sugar and beat. Add water, vanilla and cocoa and blend. Mix in oats. Refrigerator overnight, or you can speed up the process by putting in freezer for 15 minutes or so) Shape into 36 balls. Roll in powdered sugar. Store in refrigerator.

Here's the modified version. These are good for post work-out snacks or even breakfast. I cut the recipe to 1/3 of the original because I didn't want to waste ingredients if they were hideous. You can double or triple amounts – this version provides a good sample. If you don't like peanut butter, you can also make these with just Smart Balance (light or regular). I didn't have any nuts for the cookies pictured here, so I just chopped up some trail mix (hence the craisin bits!).

Paula’s Power Balls
¼ cup natural peanut butter or almond butter
¼ cup Smart Balance light margarine
¼ cup honey or agave syrup (or use 1/8 cup and then about 6 packets of stevia)
1 heaping Tbs. unsweetened cocoa powder
1-2 Tbs. brown rice protein powder
1 Tbs. of wheat germ
¼ tsp. or so of vanilla
About ¾ cup of quick cooking oats
A little water as needed (if needed)
Finely chopped nuts

Beat peanut butter and Smart Balance together till well blended and soft. Mix everything else in except the nuts. Refrigerate overnight or freeze about 15 minutes. Form into balls and then roll in chopped nuts or additional cocoa powder. Store in refrigerator. Makes about 14 balls.

I'm Just Sayin'...

Joseph Cohen

So this cab driver unloads a family and their luggage recently, only to discover later that the parents "forgot" their five-year-old kid, who was sleeping in the back of the mini van. Read the full story here if you're interested, but what irks me is the cabbie got in trouble! His license was almost suspended for three days. WTF? I can see leaving a cell phone, maybe a purse in a cab, but your kid? Isn't that something most parents would notice? Why is this the cab driver's fault? And, if I may be so bold, where's the kid's responsibility in all of this? He's FIVE -- I can't tell you how many times I was left behind at various gas stations* and I always found my way home. My parents were always so relieved, which I knew, because my reappearance was always greeted with, "Oh God, she's back." Kids these days. They're so coddled.

*Not really. It was usually department stores and rest stops. My parents have class.

In other news, friend and former co worker Laurie sent me an Amazon link a while back for a most hilarious "three wolves" t-shirt. The reviews for this shirt are priceless. Recently in need of a snicker, I revisited the link and realized the "customers also viewed" links were equally hilarious, and comments on the LOL-worthy reviews also quite clever. Where does the depth of all this hilarity end?! I'll let you know when I find it. In the meantime, enjoy this utterly fantastic parody of Poe, which is a product review for, of all things, a gallon of milk. Amazon has EVERYTHING! (Don't miss the fresh whole rabbit carcass or the Relaxman relaxation capsule, only $36,995 -- sorry, no super saver shipping though).

Sample:

Once upon a mid-day sunny, while I savored Nuts 'N Honey,
With my Tuscan Whole Milk, 1 gal, 128 fl. oz., I swore
As I went on with my lapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at the icebox door.
'Bad condenser, that,' I muttered, 'vibrating the icebox door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Nice Niece II

Sabine came to town for another whirlwind weekend of shopping, biking, movies, kayaking and noshing. I had apparently impressed Cora with my smoothies, so Sabine put in her request, plus we had roasted marshmallows, peach crumble (also fireside), and several meals out that encompassed (very) carefully buttered waffles, hot dogs, grilled cheese and bright red Cheetos from Onkel Rolie that will burn your lips off if you unknowingly eat more than one at a time. Trust me. Over the course of the weekend, I learned many new words (13-year-old vernacular doncha know), and got to sample Roland and Amy's new Wii. I don't mean to brag, but I sprinted 100 m.p.h. and there wasn't even anyone chasing me. And that was AFTER jumping over logs! It was also after visiting the candy store, so that could have something to do with it. We also went accessory shopping, because Sabine noted that even though I already went with Cora, she is "very good at picking things out for people," so I had to take advantage of the opportunity. We had great success with another necklace for both of us.



A few photos to document the activities:

Checking out the lily pads...


Rafting the kayaks for some power drifting.

Recent Sighting

Can you find the Perky Potholder? Spotted on a desk located in an office on Bainbridge Island, WA. (Thanks Pat) :)
Hint:

Shameless Plug

Have you checked out the Face Blog lately? Lenore has been busy!

Also, we only have a few cookbooks left. Just so you know.

Berries, Bounce and Butterflies

Lenore helped me pick some more black raspberries (growing in abundance along the bike trail), which was sporting of her since A.) It was raining and B.) She doesn't even like raspberries. Or the bounce I made from them (pictured here with an experimental rhubarb bounce).


We also recently took a relaxing stroll through Snuffy's Prairie and met up with June and Steve (site stewards) who were there for the same purpose. We had a lovely walk and talk while admiring all the stuff in bloom.



Here's a war-torn butterfly that apparently did battle (and won) with a bird. It flew off in a rather loopy flight pattern, but seemed to be doing OK otherwise. I was contemplating planting some of this milkweed in my yard, because it smells so good, but it's also a great attraction for Japanese beetles, so I may limit my enjoyment of it to in-the-wild encounters. Click the photo to see it closer up.

A Nice Niece Weekend

Cora came and stayed with me last weekend for her 11th birthday outing, and we accomplished a LOT. Activities included shopping at the farmer's market, hot dog eating, shopping at the hysterical society garage sale (where I got 6 fabulous antique chairs for the dining room, a plug-in pumpkin and a hydrangea plant), cookie sampling, shopping at Borders and Trader Joe's (and sampling food), kitten cuddling at Petsmart (which ended up taking up most of our shopping time, truth be told), a Chicago Bandits double header (which included Blizzards), playing Frisbee with Noble and Valiant (German shepherds), dinner party at Onkel Rolie's (a.k.a. Roland and Amy's house), visiting with cats in the garden, and shopping at Kohl's for necklaces. There may have been additional snacking in there, I forget. Cora helped me pick out three necklaces to go with some of my new couture, and I have to say, she just may have a future in fashion. It's not everybody who can say they've been successfully accessorized by an 11 year old, but people, I look GOOD! And she was very diplomatic when I held something up that wasn't to her liking. I'd get a raised eyebrow (yes, she can raise one eyebrow, and I'm totally jealous) and a tactful, "Interesting." Yes, it's good to be kind to the fashionably unaware.

These kittens were SO CUTE. Lenore took these shots with her iPhone. There was a large litter of kittens and several cats looking for new homes at adoption day. We sampled all of them, which sort of made up for Hoops' inhospitable attitude during Cora's visit. She spent the majority of the weekend hiding (Hoops that is).


"Hey Lady, put me down, there's a dust bunny down there that needs tending to!"


Taking a break from Frisbee at Gary and Nina's


Bandit wanted to hula, but Cora respectfully declined.

Fancy Footwear

Yes, I fell off the wagon and bought another pair of Crocs (orange -- a great deal on ebay!). I only need one more pair and I'll have one for every day of the week. Well, really two more pairs, because the tan ones are just for the garden. What colors should I get?!

ZZZZzzzzSSSSHHHHHhhhhhh

That's the sound the bike racers made as they WHIZZED by us during the Elgin bike race on Sunday. We had fun sitting in Kim and Doug's front yard and also riding our bikes to different vantage points on the route and cheering. More pics coming -- this is one I stole from Roland, who is much quicker with the downloads!

OK, here are a few more. Unfortunately, I was trying the "speed burst" feature on Lenore's camera, which, it turns out, results in pretty blurry photos, so I didn't get a decent one of the women's pro race. I have to figure out how to get the movies off of the card next.

Here we are in Kim and Doug's yard -- the riders have just come up a long, steep hill. We rode up it to get there, and it's a killer. These guys did it anywhere from 8 to 18 times, depending on their race! The entire loop through Elgin was a little over 5 miles, mostly through residential neighborhoods.

(part of the hill)


They were averaging around 25-26 mph. The announcer mentioned that 1 mph can make a big difference in a race like this -- I know when I kick it up from 10 to 11 mph, it's REALLY tiring!! (heh heh)

Some other vantage points. That rider on the far left is actually in the race, but I don't think he knew what he was getting himself into. He had already been lapped once, so at this point, I think he was just trying to stay out of the way. He took it in good humor and got plenty of cheers though -- he was kind of like the Jamaican bobsled team.


Hopefully this works -- here's a little clip of the riders coming at us on a straightaway.

If you can't view the video here, it's up on YouTube.

Lenore, my dad and I also went to see the Chicago Bandits play the Rockford Thunder in Rockford. It was a great game (we won!), but our seats sucked. It was "bring your dog night" (how stupid is that?!), plus there were at least 25 girls teams there watching, so it was packed. But we made the best of it, and conditions improved considerably once the sun went down. That's one of the more poorly laid out fields I've ever been to as far as sun positioning and visibility from the bleachers. Two of the three women's toilets were broken (handles snapped off -- what the...), so Lenore and I were giving plumbing lessons on how to flush a toilet manually, from inside the tank. In hair news, here's the latest update on Lenore's head. It's maybe about 1/4 of an inch long now?

The Price of Looking Good

This is what happens when I go clothes shopping with my mom. I was double teamed by her and her friend, who works at a lovely, albeit pricey, clothing store. I've since returned a few of the items, but let's just say that $400 ambulance bill isn't going to get paid off anytime soon. See what happens when I don't get a siren? It's the payment plan for you, Mr. Ambulance company.

Gagging on Protein

The director of the fitness center where I work got me hooked on morning smoothies...or, I should say, gritties, because we put all kinds of stuff in 'em: oatmeal, nuts, berries, wheat germ, twigs...

He also suggested getting some protein powder, so I bought some whey protein isolate, and it seemed to work well...except for making me feel kind of sick all morning. Hmmm. Maybe I was drinking the shakes too fast. Or I could cut back on the amount. Or stir it in instead of whipping it up with so much air in the blender. Nothing I tried worked, so I got the bright idea to try making protein bars. Maybe if I didn't drink the stuff, I could tolerate it better. I found several recipes on the Internet and gave four different bars a try. I can safely report that they were all completely disgusting.



Here's the worst one (why did I even try this?)

Protein Bars

1 lb of no fat cottage cheese
4 tablespoons of natural peanut butter
2 cups of whole oats
3 scoops of chocolate pure whey protein power (except I used vanilla)

Mix it all together, put it back in the cottage cheese tub (+half of another tub) or shape into 6 bars and refrigerate. Serve to your girlfriend and enjoy the face she makes.

This was probably the most palatable (and easiest) -- I liked it OK, but it still gave me a belly ache.

Single Protein Bar
2 scoops oats
Few nuts
1 scoop protein powder
Tbs. or less peanut butter
Water

Chop oats and nuts into powder in the blender and pour into small mixing container. Add protein powder, mix in peanut butter and a little water at a time until somewhat crumbly moist consistency. Dump out onto foil or waxed paper, fold into bar shape. Eat or refrigerate.

I'm just one of those people who can't tolerate whey protein. Swell. Fortunately, I ordered the stuff from a healthfood place that has a money back guarantee, so I sent it back (they even pay return postage!) and ordered some brown rice protein instead. I'm told it's much easier on the gut. Live and learn. Last night I took the muffins pictured above down to the river and fed them to the ducks. They wouldn't eat them. The geese, however, snarfed them down, paper and all, so if you see any muscular looking (or maybe dead) geese around Dundee, you'll know why.

Four Days-O-Fun

I love a four-day weekend.

Over the 4th, we had mostly perfect weather and managed to take advantage of just about every waking minute of sunshine.


We went kayaking with Roland and Amy and on our own a couple of times, partook in a couple of picnics (one by boat, one by bike) enjoyed the Elgin 4th of July parade (two hours long!), took several 20-mile (or so) bike rides and got front-row seats for fireworks (it pays to party with the village president!). Fireworks followed a "death by chocolate" party, which I’m still vibrating from. Lenore made her famous fudge, and I brought chocolate bran muffins (hey, they were good!). Steph, our host, made the most fabulous wheat beer flavored with lemon zest…I’m still craving it. Beer and chocolate – who knew. Some of us from said party met for a post celebration bike ride the next morning, and all but one of us had the breakfast of champions (leftover chocolate food items).

Lenore took this picture of a great blue heron in flight (after ticking it off by drifting too close -- it took off with an indignant squawwwwk).



Here's Roland and Amy with the same blue heron in the background sitting on a duck blind.



On a different paddling day, Lenore and I loaded up our boats with provisions and floated down to a park in West Dundee for a picnic.



Roland sporting his patriotic 4th of July hat.


Lenore was the only one who remembered to bring a camera. The parade was rather long, so it's hard to pick the best entry. I liked the dragons, Mexican dancers and the Jesse White Tumblers... though it was nice to see Johnny Depp/Capt. Jack Sparrow in Elgin too.



We also took in a Chicago Bandits game, which was a benefit for breast cancer research, so the players and most of the fans wore PINK. Even my dad. The game was actually a little slow, but we did almost get killed by a home run, so that was kind of exciting. I always thought that I would bravely (one handed even) catch a ball careening at my head in a situation like that, but when push came to shove, I practically flattened Lenore by screaming and diving out of the way. Watch for the replay on the cable softball channel. My dad, still chewing his cookie, just calmly sort of leaned aside and let the ball smack into the billboard behind us in the bleachers. 'Course, he used to get shot at in airplanes, so a bright yellow softball is probably no big deal. Damn, that was one well-hit ball. Lenore was kind of miffed at me for not catching it, cuz it was hit by one of her favorite players (but it’s not a crush). This is not the first time I’ve almost been maimed by a homer, so I may have to dig out my ball glove and risk being mistaken for a pre-teen fan.

The only downside to the weekend was the longer-than-expected rain on Saturday, which pretty much squelched the farmer’s market; the lack of weeding and hosta planting I got done (it rained during the "yard chores" time slot, and the agenda could NOT be adjusted); and the pump in my ejector pit died, resulting in a flooded laundry room and much swearing. However, I now have a clean floor and a somewhat shampooed rug. Come to think of it, that’s pretty much the only way my basement floor gets washed, is via flooding events. That stupid pump was just over a year old, so of course out of warranty. $260 down the drain, quite literally. But after being almost knee deep in sewage, oddly enough, these water incidents don’t faze me quite as much as they used to. I just find myself being thankful it's not worse and get out the squeegee. Well, I call Lenore first, then I get out the squeegee! She works for hugs and coffee, and a mere Starbucks grande at that. Can't say the same for my plumber, though he came over within 15 minutes and lent an air of calm to the situation. That can be priceless sometimes. If you need a good, honest plumber, give Lee a call, and tell him Paula sent you.

In cherry news, there is none. I think the birds and bugs are going to win the rest of the crop. My friend Nina gave me some of her rhubarb, though, so I may try making some rhubarb bounce. Could be interesting, though maybe not quite as good on pancakes.

R.I.P.

(This one's even better...so many of these are being yanked off the net now.)