Look What She Did To Me

I watched, I ate garbage, I drank beer and scratched my junk.

Don't tell, but I'm glad the Packers won. Not that I know anything about football, but it just seems like they've always been a steady force, yet never really taken seriously. If you can take anything like pro ball seriously. I like that they're from a small (relatively) town. And I like cheese, always have. But overall, I could care less about the whole scene. The snacks, though, were good.

Gracie thinks Cutler needs to get out of the pocket, and that he doesn't seem very coachable.


The questions will always remain, why does Chicago pay so much for quarterbacks when they all suck. Also, when did football players become such lard asses? Some of those guys...seriously. That's just too much jiggle.

Here's Gracie all bummed after the game.

Wake Me When It's Over

Oh yay, it's almost Superbowl time again. Yawn.

For the record, I think football is stupid. Apparently that makes me un American and deeply flawed, but I don't even care.

I dislike most everything about it, especially the incessant "analysis" by armchair quarterbacks and the way people get so caught up in the hype. It's embarrassing. And you know what? Football Jerseys don't really look good on anyone except football players. They especially look retarded draped over the beer guts of grown men who we all know couldn't run 50 yards without collapsing. If a real-life football jersey wouldn't fit you, then you shouldn't get to wear one in real life.

I could completely ignore the fact that the Bears are in the playoffs, except I'm not allowed to, because it's being talked about every eight minutes on the news, playoff tickets are going for gazillions of dollars (what recession?) and Facebook is full of stellar updates like, "Go Bears!" and "Touchdown!" Here's a newsflash: Bears fans already know what's going on, and people who don't care aren't going to start caring because someone just mistook Facebook for Twitter and posted the score. Again.

I hate the way people act when they watch a game on TV. I hate the sound of the announcers blathering on about every second of every minute, even when nothing is actually happening on the field, and I hate the way "fans" will justify taking people they supposedly care about for granted when a "big game" is on television.

Fandom in general was fine in its day, but like everything good, it's gotten way out of hand, and its importance seems out of proportion to what's really going on in the world. Professional sports these days feeds into a dysfunctional, misogynistic industry, with football and its chest-thumping hysteria being among the worst. Any athletic grace or nuances of strategy that exist on game day are overshadowed by my dislike for it and everything it represents -- from the commercialization and greed to the beer-soaked sensationalizing of what being "masculine" is. And the fact that people get so rabid about it all -- it's become almost unpatriotic to not jump on the bandwagon. I think the only thing that's more ridiculous than that mindset is the frothing fervor of the so-called religious right (which is neither).

Gratifying In Any Language

So a guy sees the girl he loves driving around with another guy and does a fine job expressing how he feels. And the message is now available for the hearing impaired! The phrase in question may be lacking in originality, base, and of course offensive. But sometimes there's no better way to express how you feel.

(Is it offensive if it's educational?)
A friend of mine posted this with the comment:

"I wonder if her Mother would wash her mouth out with soap or just make her wash her hands?"

Background: My name is Anna and this is my final for a college level sign language class. I am not deaf and still learning sign language and encourage others to learn sign language as well! Thank you so much for all the love.

(BTW, she got an A)

Winter Hike and Eagle Spotting

The Monday after driving all the way down to Starved Rock to see the bald eagles, I saw two of them swooping over the river right at the end of my street. They were spectacular, and I wished I had had a camera. The shots I took on Saturday were not so hot, but it was still cool to see them. And cool hiking...literally, because it was colder than a cast-iron commode on the Klondike. However, with toe and hand warmers, layers and a thermos of hot tea, we were not cold and had a great time. The icy trails were a new challenge, and the frozen waterfalls (that we made it to) were awesome.



Note the guy trying to climb the wall of this canyon. He provided good scale, even if he was crazy.



Gracie enjoyed her romp through the woods, though I think we were not going fast enough for her.




We started a second hike to a 64-foot waterfall, but by then the temperature had dropped and it was getting dark, so we turned back early. Maybe next time! I liked the way the setting sun was reflecting off the the treacherous ice on the trail, though.




After hiking, we sampled some wine and a bench in the lodge.


Here are some great pictures my favorite tall co worker (and cupcake maker) took earlier in the season. Notice the ice is not quite as far down on the one below, which is Wildcat Canyon. Click any of the pictures to see them larger.



St. Louis Canyon


Tonti Canyon


LaSalle Canyon

Tears Of A Clown

Man, how do peppy people do it? I was struck by this thought, because I finished the book I was listening to in the car and have been listening to the radio all week. Take radio hosts Eric and Kathy. Those guys are *always* funny. Granted, their show is only (only?) four hours or so, but that's a long time to be "on" if you can’t poop or some moron without insurance rear ends you at a stoplight. Note, I’m not talking about death, divorce or illness here. That's a whole different class of emotional anxiety. I'm talking about all the annoying shit that rolls downhill on the same day that your garage door got frozen to the pavement and the cat puked on your pillow.

Makes me realize how much I could NOT make it in radio, stand-up, motivational speaking, or even driving an ice cream truck. Actually I worked at the local Dairy Queen in high school, and it was hell, so it's not like this is any great revelation, come to think of it. (Though people can be real assholes when it comes to their junk food, so I think my occasional surly attitude was justified. "I got your sprinkles right here, pal, now move along!")

But seriously, how do some people stay chipper all the time? Is my psyche that flawed that a boss' snotty email or a friend's slight puts me into a bit of a funk? I know, I know, happiness has to come from within. Blah blah blah. That just seems a little ridiculous for our species though. If that were the case, we wouldn't need people like Ellen or Gloria Estefan. Just how, exactly, do I get me a piece of that perpetual perkiness? Just a little piece. So when life gives me lemons I can make a Harvey Wallbanger too.

Driving to work (while trying to ignore the *oblivious* idiot in front of me who was traveling a good 7 m.p.h. below the speed limit -- during rush hour – and totally screwed up any opportunity to turn left on a yellow light), I started tallying a list of all the professions that would *not* be right for me. The list was pretty long. Things like customer service of any kind and airline stewardess are kind of obvious. But I'm pretty sure counselor (camp or otherwise), sales rep, and possibly even mom might be a mistake.

On the other hand, circus clown (if I could be sad sometimes), sommelier (because I *can* be a people person when I drink) or personal trainer (isn't a little gruffness expected?) I think I could handle. It's just a little disconcerting to take stock of your mid-life options and realize you’re disqualified from so many. And does one accept, try and change, or just take a nap?

I'm always up for a nap. And thankful reflection toward The Big Out There for putting these happy people in our midst. The cute Hispanic boy who cashiers in the cafeteria where I work and always smiles and cuts me a deal on the soup because I bring my own bowl; Ira Glass; my favorite Chinese coworker, even if I don't know what the hell she's saying half the time; Santa and certainly Dolly Parton.

('Course, too much of a good thing would get annoying. Which is why we also need the wry, the sarcastic, and the observant people out there like David Sedaris; Dooce, my best friend Linda; Addi; and sarcastic gay guys who judge. I'm hoping to find or fit into the balance of it all. I think that's going to be important in the end.)

Addendum:
Maybe sad clowns should be illegal. Oh, they may be some form of art, metaphorically expressive, whatever, but what do they really offer to a civil society? They are creepy and make people uncomfortable. Am I right? Yet we don't allow other stuff that makes us uncomfortble, do we. Pot is still illegal, because lawmakers fear that unleashing legal (and taxable!) weed would somehow be worse than 3 kegs at a frat party. And, legalizing it makes people uncomfortable. Gays still can't get married because "religious people" are stupid enough to believe that their ignorance about human sexuality (not to mention Christ) justifies discrimination. And it makes people uncomfortable. So we can't have that. But we allow sad clowns to walk among us.

1-11-11

Another fun date to commemorate! I was going to post something about being perplexed by perpetually perky people, but that seems a little negative for such an upbeat date as one, one-one, one-one. Also, it's my friend Dara's mom's birthday today. I think she's the only person I know whose birthday is today. Happy Birthday Dara's mom, who is Bernice Rabe, famous author of great children's books, especially Rass, which was one of my favorites!

Yes, I Did.

I wasn't going to talk about the fact that I drove all the way in to work on Monday only to discover the college was still closed, except that my co worker, Jenne, gave me this cartoon from her Dilbert calender. The date coincides with my own loserishness, so I figured I better document it, just to keep the universe in check.

Movie Thots

It's been awhile since I reminisced about movies...probably because I haven't seen all that many worth talking about. But here are a few movies or new (to me) series that are worth mentioning either because they were great or horrible. I have yet to see the latest Harry Potter, Mega Mind, Scott Pilgrim vs. the World (because Michael Cera can do no wrong), Eclipse (because I have to), Cyrus or Inception, which are still on my list. OK, and Karate Kid. I can't help it.

Silly and fun, but which I won't bother pontificating on are: Despicable Me (you will want a Minion), Date Night (funniest second: Tina Fey faking gum chewing), and Toy Story 3. I think I will have to see the latest Shrek movie too. Don't tell.

In no particular order...


Where the Wild Things Are
I ordered this movie from Netflix out of loyalty to Maurice Sendak, and I ended up liking ... no, LOVING it way more than I thought I would. The script is subtle and sublime in its humor, and the "monsters" (Carol, Ira, Judith, Alexander, Douglas, Bernard and K.W) are absolutely exquisite in both design and character. Also, if you’re in the mood, you can wax poetic about young Max and his inner turmoil as he tries to tame the emotional frenzy (as depicted by aforementioned monsters) caused by the dueling forces of love, betrayal, anger and, eventually, understanding – heady stuff for anyone, let alone an eight year old. If you're not in the mood, then you'll still enjoy it. If you ever had a dirt clod fight or played with a gang of petulant kids growing up, many scenes will bring back memories, monsters notwithstanding.


Nurse Jackie
I have never watched the Sopranos, and this is probably the first thing I've ever seen Edie Falco in, so my basis for comparison is, well, nonexistent, but I love her in this series both for her acting and the way she manages to make a slightly too big nose and short hair kind of sexy, two things I aspire to. She is the nurse you would want should you find yourself in an ER -- skilled and funny and pragmatic, which she balances precisely with her utterly effed up disaster-waiting-to-happen personal life. Also, I love her rapport with people she respects (and doesn't respect) and the way she deals with the funniest nursing student ever portrayed on television (shown in photo above). Never a dull moment.


Sherlock Holmes
(with Robert Downy Jr. and Jude Law)
This was entirely watchable and very entertaining, and I liked how the movie stayed true to the real Sherlock Holmes and Watson characters (of the original books). I think Jude Law is good in everything he does, even that stupid film with Cameron Diaz and Jack Black, and Robert Downy Jr., well, he's just a drug riddled savant when he's in front of a camera, so really, you can’t go wrong. The other thing I really liked about this film was how the city was portrayed – you could really feel how cold and dank and smelly it probably was. Also, the bulldog was cute.


Inglourious Basterds
Once you adjust your brain to the Tarantino mindset, it's really hard not to get a kick out of this film. Yes, it's really violent, and yes Tarantino is maybe a little insane, but it's wry and kind of sarcastic, and it's got Brad Pitt ... killing Nazis! What's not to like? As an added bonus, it features my favorite German actor, Daniel Brühl, and there's a cameo by Mike Meyers (really!). I was surprised at how much of the German I was able to understand without really concentrating on it. Except when Hitler and Goring were red faced and ranting. That I could not discern a word of, but that's probably a good thing.


Me And Orson Welles
I wanted to like this movie, but I didn't. It might have helped if I were a fan of Orson Welles, but I'm really not (I’m indifferent), and the movie was, for the most part, pretty boring despite the cool clothes and sets. Zac Efron was, as always, a delightful bit of eye candy, and he did a fine job with a pretty vanilla role.

The Lives of Others
I actually re watched this movie because I had to give a report on it for my German class. The extra little research I did made the film a lot more interesting the second time around, even though, like most German films, it was dark and tragic and required a post-viewing Veggie Tales to lift my spirits. I'd still recommend it. Like a true German-made film, there's so much that's "typically German" about the lifestyles and sets, and I enjoy that even if the movie is a dud (and this one isn't).


Tangled
I saw this with Odie and Dad, so while the movie was saccharine sweet and had some fun music, it was more entertaining to me that I managed to drag the two of them to a princess movie instead of the one where the guy cuts his own arm off with a pocket knife (which Odie wanted to see). Score one for me! But I have to concur, it's got clever moments, but it's definitely lacking in depth (unlike a lot of the Pixar movies, which often feature a few different levels of humor), and the most interesting character in the whole movie is ... a horse.


Modern Family
I'm still on season one and pacing myself, because I don’t want to be without it. I love all the characters, even the ones I don’t like. I also love the fact that the male characters are not always the buffoons -- Julie Bowen’s performances are priceless. It also knows how to make stereotypes seem original and funny (unlike the film below). Eric Stonestreet (Cam) is my new favorite gay.


Glee
It's a guilty pleasure, what can I say? There's always a surprise bit of subtle dialogue, such as, "Did you know dolphins are really gay sharks?" Also, it stars Jane Lynch. 'Nuf said.


The Kids Are All Right
I was kind of looking forward to seeing The Kids Are All Right (not to be confused with The Kids Are Alright, a 1979 rockumentary about The Who), because it looked smart and funny, and I was hopeful that the characters' same-sex marriage would be presented as, if not normal, then not a character unto itself. In that regard, the film delivered – a lesbian couple with two kids wasn't as much of an issue as how hard it can be raising the two kids, regardless of whether anybody has a penis. (The fact that the two kids are annoying and relatively unlikable ... well, whadya gonna do.) Unfortunately, the movie fell way short in the smart and funny department, not to mention original or even thoughtful. Predictable, stereotypical, and condescending – we got that in spades. Seriously, how many more films with lesbians will be created that involve some form of butch/femme dynamic, one (usually ridiculous) gratuitous sex scene, and one of the two straying into the bed of a man? Really? That’s the best you can do for conflict? (The couple's "interest" in gay male porn is a stereotypical [yawn] bonus). At least director Lisa Cholodenko (High Art) didn't kill anyone off this time – because after all, we are also conditioned to expect every lesbian relationship to end in heartbreak, isolation and/or suicide. Who's got time to worry about loving or laughing, let alone paying bills or taking out the garbage?! I'm amazed that this movie got the high marks it did, though the majority of movie reviewers are men who, quite obviously, have no idea what it's like to be a lesbian ... they just think they might like to play one on TV as long as it's opposite Julianna Moore.

1-1-11 Revisited

So technically it's 1-2-11, but the pics were from New Year's Eve and after, so I figure it counts. The birdies above were trying to stay warm (I assume) on New Year's Day since the temperature went from 50 degrees down to 20 with a windchill of about -60. Wandering around Chicago and out to Navy Pier on NYE was a new experience and a fun change from my usual NYE revelry, which usually consists of falling asleep at 12:01. The warmer weather helped too. Here are a few shots from the evening.

Beth was a much better sport about being in photos.




This family was primed to party, so I had to document them and their matching jackets. Except for the little girl. Maybe they found her along the way, I don't know, but she did not conform...and I can totally respect that.



This young woman asked if we could take a picture of her and her boyfriend, so I was all, "sure!" And I must say, I took a very fine and nicely composed photo of the happy young couple. Then she said she'd return the favor and THIS is what I got. (Click on the photo to see better.) WTH? How do you so severely blur a photo with a point-and-shoot camera? I ask you. Note, the shopping bag contains four cupcakes from Sprinkles. Chicago magazine billed them as as "crack in a box," and also my hairdresser felt pretty sure they put heroin in the cupcakes, but I have to say...meh. They were good, but not $13 worth of spectacular. (I know -- $13+ for four cupcakes, do you think they saw us coming?) They do not hold a candle to my favorite tallest co worker's vegan cupcakes, and I mean that in all sincerity.



Here are some additional views of the city just prior to one one one one. There was a talkative homeless looking guy waiting to cross the street with us who noted that channel 9 was downtown (he saw them) and had estimated (on the news that night) that there were over 11,000 people in the vicinity to celebrate. I'm not sure if that's an impressive number or not, or if the guy was just making stuff up. But at least if he's homeless, it sounds like maybe he has a TV. With cable.





This is only two of the 374 pictures I took of the water tower. This is the water tower, right? I don't even know, I just think it looks cool and I can never NOT take pictures of it when I see it.




After some pre midnight wandering, we had dinner at McCormick and Schmick's, which is apparently a very well-known seafood and steak joint, because they charge a LOT for a modest plate of food. It was very good though. I got giant sea scallops with a mushroom and sweet potato risotto and a glass of wine, which I spilled, but then the waitress, who likely wanted a good tip, topped me off, which I thought was nice.



However, I may have set my glass down a little too vigorously just prior to finishing the very last sip, because glass literally exploded in two. That was weird.



The total bill for two people who only had one glass of wine each was over $100. Just sayin'.

In 1-2-11 news, my Christmas break is drawing to a close, which makes me sigh just a little bit, because being off the whole week between Christmas and New Years really rocks, and it's so hard to go back to the old routine. I know, however, that it'll be good for me (and my bank account). That and getting back to the workout routine. Though the break was not totally slothful, as it did afford several opportunities to hike and/or snowshoe through some of our lovely wooded parcels here in the Dundee area. Said outings were often followed by a tall decaf soy misto at Starbucks.



These were taken at Raceway Woods during a very nice snowfall. Gracie (the dog), was most definitely smiling as only dogs can do.





I like this shot a lot. I think possibly Gracie had just run off into the brush though. She was loaded for Bear.




The white Christmas also gave Odie and me a chance to try out new snowshoes. His were new from last Christmas (but yet untried), and mine were brand spankin' new. Unfortunately, the bindings on mine were not so hot, so I spent a lot of time walking out of the actual snowshoes, which, I'm here to tell you, is a whole new kind of frustrating. We sent 'em back, and I got a (hopefully) better pair at L.L. Bean, which includes that unconditional guarantee, so we'll see. Of course, all the snow melted before I had a chance to try them for realz, but they seem to do well on carpeting.





In closing, this is Beth's xmas tree. Mine is small and bluely lit and Charlie Brown-like, so I did not photograph it.