Up A Street With A Paddle

The newspaper did another story about my neighborhood's newly classified flood hazzard designation. I met the photographer in front of my house w/my knee-high wellies and my kayak. Just, you know, as a joke. But he was all for it, so this is what ran in the paper. We've gotten about 40 homeowners signed up for surveys, so we'll be able to get a discounted price of $100 (regularly $400), which the village fathers said they would then reimburse us for up to $100. If my house is above the base flood elevation, it's going to be by mere inches, if that, so I'm hopeful but not overly so. In the meantime, I've gotten to know some of my neighbors better and met some new people in the 'hood too, so there's that. We partied, watched fireworks and ate pancakes with neighbors John and Julie at Heritage Fest last weekend, and Julie confessed that she was tempted to kidnap my ghosts last year and send me ransom notes. So that's the way it is, is it?! They hang a GIANT spiderweb on their house every Halloween, so I may have to think of something clever to suspend in their web. Ideas anyone?

The Juiceman Cometh

My brother is big into juicing -- has been for some time. So much so that, come to find out, he owns MORE THAN ONE juicer. This is how serious he is. When I mentioned I might like to dip my toe into the elite fountain of juicing exaltation, my big brother stepped up and promptly *Fed Exed* me his Juiceman Jr. How awesome is that?! Also, his special gal pal (who, btw, might be eligible for saintdom for this and other reasons) wouldn't let him send it until she had totally cleaned it so it was all sparkly and new. Sweet!

It came yesterday, so after a long day followed by a long meeting, followed by a good 1/2 hour of lying on my couch staring into space while my cat napped on my head, I had to give the Juiceman Jr. (I call him Jr. for short) a trial run. A little pre-bed pick-me-up, if you will.

I dutifully thumbed through the instruction book, noting that it included a stern admonishment against juicing fruits and vegetables together. WTH? Well, I was in no mood to toy with the juice gods, so I opted for a an organic pink lady apple and 2 clementines (peeled of course).


Sweet nectar of the gods! Yum-oh! With a little more practice, I could be on to something here. I say practice because, in my excitement, I almost forgot to put something under the spout (the bossy instruction book didn't mention anything about that tiny detail), and I was so intent on watching the juice come out, I didn't notice that the glop receptacle had shifted, so the glop was spewing all over my counter and on all nearby counter-clutter items. D'oh! But it was damn good juice! And, as Odie promised, all the parts rinsed off quickly and easily.

I overslept a little this a.m., so I didn't have time to reassemble and juice – opting instead for my usual gritty but fast smoothie. Maybe I'll smoothie in the a.m. and juice in the evening (which leaves to door open for adding vodka, haha, just kidding...sort of). I may also throw caution to the wind and MIX my fruits and vegetables (beets!!). I need to Google the legality of that.

I'm told you can use the leftover glop in muffins and what not, but I'm not sure I'm buyin' it. For now, it'll be worm food in the compost bin.

In other produce news, imagine my delight when I ventured out into my slowly whithering garden and discovered THIS!



I thought my crop of spaghetti squash-that-was-supposed-to-be-melons was through, but I was granted not one but THREE more squashes. And, as if that were not reason enough to Snoopy dance, I noticed my barren eggplant plants had also proven me wrong. Two cute, shiny little gorgeous eggplants.



AND two more monstrous tomatoes on the way as well. I don't have the heart to tell them they all may be destined to meet Jr. in the near future.

Journey to the Ultimate BLT

Lenore's still in TX, so I've had to find new ways to entertain myself (besides attending village board meetings of course). These week-long business trips are seriously cutting into my fun. On the plus side, all this free time gives me more time to putz around in the kitchen. I've invented several new smoothies, perfected my power ball recipe and food savered to my heart's content.

I'm still on my beet kick, and recently added some to bread. Check out this bubble-gum-pink dough!

It's pretty enough to wear. Which, in a way, I will be (on my ass), since I ate almost all of this entire loaf by myself. It lightened up a bit after baking.



Next enter this GIANT tomato that I grew in my garden. Note the almonds added to the arrangement for scale (I didn't have a quarter handy!).


Seriously, this is one big love apple, and though it probably would not have qualified in the annual largest tomato contest, it's the biggest tomato I've ever grown my own self, so, to celebrate, I promptly ate it...or, part of it, on a delicious BLT made with the pink bread (lightly toasted). Behold:


Note this is nitrate free bacon, and I did not technically have any "L", so I used kale from my garden, so I guess this is a BKT. Hiding in the background are some sauteed beet greens. I didn't feature them in the photo, because it just looks like seaweed. Mmmmm.

I took the remainder of the tomato to work the next day to share with my co workers. I'm afraid this photo just doesn't do it justice.


Four of us added some to our sandwiches at lunch, and there was still a big chunk left over. Peggy in the mailroom weighed it for me -- in the little bowl with two slices missing, it weighed almost 2 pounds. Yowsa!

These are some cute little eggplants. Delicious too. Babies always taste so fresh and tender.



In other tomato news, I'm going to definitely try this recipe, which one of my facebook friends posted. We had tomato pie and also vidalia onion pie on Edisto, and both were delicious. If you try it, let me know how it turns out.

Tomato Pie
Bake one deep dish pie crust at 425 degrees for 5 minutes.
Place thick slices from 3 (I use more) medium tomatoes in pie shell.
Sprinkle with 1/4 teaspoon each salt and pepper and with 1/2 teaspoon basil and 3 tablespoons chopped green onions.
Mix 1/2 cup lite Mayo with 2 cups shredded sharp cheddar cheese
Spread over top of pie
Bake at 400 for 35 minutes.

Cooking With Sock Monkey

A new Food Channel show? No..but it *is* a very clever attempt to circumvent Perky Potholder documentation. And I love it! I traded this Dundee Cardunal potholder for a photo of a former classmate (who shall remain nameless until I confirm that it's OK to name names -- this blog is rife with scandal, after all, and she was a HUGE star when we were in school together) wearing stiletto heels, because I just had to see it to believe it. I saw (truly fabulous!) and promptly mailed the coveted prize along with EXPLICIT instructions to send me a photo of her with her new potholder. Methinks someone has a little problem following directions. But that's OK, because I love this photo (great expression on the monkey!), and it was still an awesome trade. Plus, I can employ my rudimentary PhotoShop skills to do this. Heh heh.



;)

Later that same day...
True to her word and hotter than a sock monkey, even without the stilettos.

I Hate Surprises

Seriously. It's getting so that I don't even want to answer the phone or check my mail, because more often than not, there's something stupid, alarming or otherwise stressful to deal with.

The latest is a letter from my mortgage company informing me of FEMA's brilliant analysis and map update that has resulted in my entire neighborhood (about 75 homes) being newly inducted into the flood zone. And NO party. Never mind that we are actually above the base flood elevation and that this area has NEVER in the entire history of the town flooded, we're now required to buy flood insurance to the tune of about $1,500 per year -- insurance that is structured in such a way so as to prevent anyone from actually being able to make a claim because:

There is a $5,000 deductible
It doesn't cover basements (WTF?!)
Flood water has to encompass at least 2 acres of your and/or adjacent property

In other words, it's completely useless to anyone except the insurance company that's collecting the dough. My insurance agent, who hates even selling flood insurance, confirmed this. Apparently, this type of "program" is designed for places like the Mississippi valley, where the river can flood out over 20 miles and take out entire towns. Not the Fox River. But since FEMA is so underfunded, some guy on the East Coast gets to play with his maps and take his best guess at how to drop the property values of an entire town in one fell swoop.

Our only hope is to file for Letters of Map Amendment from FEMA (which will cost each homeowner about $400 for survey work) and hope FEMA can get around to approving them before we've spent too much on insurance. Oh yes, we have 45 days to purchase insurance, but FEMA gets 60+ days to process the disputes. It's the 10-pack of hot dogs vs. eight-pack of hot dog buns thing all over again! And we call ourselves world leaders.

Being the pot stirrer that I am, I ran off 75 letters, copied the maps on the back and went door to door in my 'hood. 99% of my neighbors didn't even know about this (our village leaders are such communicators), so a bunch of us attended the last village board meeting to see what else could be done. We're hoping to get a "group discount" on the survey work.

Seeing my name in the lead paragraph of the local newspaper today was not as thrilling as you might think. Especially given the number of online assholes who felt the need to smugly comment on our situation, which feeds my belief that "I got mine, so the hell with anyone else" is fast becoming a national value, if it isn't already. Kind of goes hand-in-hand with the NIMBYs I suppose. But it's disheartening nonetheless. I wonder if a drop in unemployment will result in fewer idiots making rude comments just because they can.

The other recent traumatic event was that I thought my Nano died. My iPod is the only thing that saves me from insomnia, so I was in panic mode. That, however, led me to discover the fact that Lenore still had the last Harry Potter book on her iPod, so I am re listening to it. I must have been very distracted last time I read this book, because there's very little I actually remember. I'm a big fan of Jim Dale (the narrator), so I find myself looking forward to and actually plotting time to listen. Oh, and little Nano wasn't dead, just completely exhausted and in need of a super charge. Phew.

09-09-09

Just wanted to commemorate this day.

Hangin' With Paula

Poudstone that is, not me. I hang with myself all the time, and, admittedly, it's not all that exciting. Paula Poundstone on the other hand? Hilarious.

This is the only photo I managed to take during the show. I don't have a good history with local theater bouncer types. People around me could be using giant flashing Polaroid cameras (POOF! WIRRRRRRRR!), but the minute I stealthily try and snap a little picture, they're on me like a cheap suit.

Anyway, Roland, Amy, Lenore and I had a splendid dinner at the Public House (that L is important), then went to see Paula at the Woodstock Opera House. I love that theater because it's so tiny and intimate. We chatted a little w/Paula after the show and Roland took this picture for me. I like it. Paula's very tall.



Lenore was a real trooper given that she had just gotten home from the hospital THAT day after having surgery on Friday. This was a non-taking-things-out kind of surgery, but still, there was cutting and needles involved. She spent the next day on the couch for the most part, except when I dragged her out of the house for the two hours spent at my next-door neighbors for fabulous chicken tacos and pretty drinks.



We were joined by Tora, Hoops' twin sister from a different mother, and did I mention the pretty drinks? Mine's the cute one on the right, because I was driving.

Also I harvested my giant beet. Tim the farmer guy from the market said if it got too big, it would be like trying to eat wood.

This is my new bookcase stereo I got from Amazon. I'm not crazy about the silver accents, but I'm getting used to it. It was very hard to find a little stereo with a cassette player (this one actually has two, so I can dub mix tapes, how cool is that?) and a multiple CD changer. For $50 more I could have had an iPod dock, but I've already got a little docking iPod player thingee. I'm still a little sad my Aiwa system died (well, it had a little help when Roland and I had to disassemble the CD player to get my CDs out). If anyone wants a nice sounding compact system with a broken tape deck and non working CD player for your garage or somethin', it's yours! It's very cute and sounds nice -- better than a boombox anyway, right?!